Talcadtif is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm raven.

Talcadtif created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Talcadtif, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Talcadtif, she will manifest in front of you.

Talcadtif's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Talcadtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never go into red rooms.