Zentanhatcabzigveenyar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, resourceful slug.

Zentanhatcabzigveenyar created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zentanhatcabzigveenyar, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zentanhatcabzigveenyar, she will torture you forever.

Zentanhatcabzigveenyar's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Zentanhatcabzigveenyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Retreat if four great tits approach from the south.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never paint your back white.