Fetbemladpom is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless dingo.

Fetbemladpom created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbemladpom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fetbemladpom, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fetbemladpom's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fetbemladpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Fetbemladpom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

5. Never feed melons to squirrels while wearing violet boots.