Rillzakkam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, emotional tapir.

Rillzakkam created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillzakkam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rillzakkam, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Rillzakkam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Rillzakkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rillzakkam.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not kill gulls.

4. Retreat if eight geese approach from the east.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.