Tandubfit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic crab.

Tandubfit created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tandubfit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tandubfit, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tandubfit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tandubfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Moths are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Never talk about otters.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.