Quartgomniltad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic eagle.

Quartgomniltad created the Andromeda Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgomniltad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quartgomniltad, she will boil you in a big pot.

Quartgomniltad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Quartgomniltad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartgomniltad.

4. Never wear turquoise shorts.

5. Run away if four mites approach from the east.