Wadflagten is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, thoughtless faun.

Wadflagten created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadflagten, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wadflagten, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Wadflagten's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wadflagten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Wadflagten's name in vain.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear purple corsets.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wadflagten.