Wiksandtar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, confident raccoon.

Wiksandtar created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Wiksandtar, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wiksandtar, he will turn you into a worm.

Wiksandtar's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wiksandtar's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Wiksandtar loves manatees, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink alcohol.