Rutqueegtikfen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, proud coyote.

Rutqueegtikfen created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutqueegtikfen, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rutqueegtikfen, he will curse you with boils.

Rutqueegtikfen's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rutqueegtikfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rutqueegtikfen.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rutqueegtikfen.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.