Lapdavdam Pigdadkip is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, loving finch.

Lapdavdam Pigdadkip created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapdavdam Pigdadkip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lapdavdam Pigdadkip, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lapdavdam Pigdadkip's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Lapdavdam Pigdadkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never feed aubergines to bats while wearing white corsets.