Minquafben is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak snail.

Minquafben created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Minquafben, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Minquafben, she will not invite you to parties.

Minquafben's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Minquafben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never hurt hamsters.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never look at nebulae.