Larnwigbest is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy fairy.

Larnwigbest created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnwigbest, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larnwigbest, she will ignore you.

Larnwigbest's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Larnwigbest's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Larnwigbest.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Larnwigbest must be the most important thing in your life.