Sakjarnomincet is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, loving gerbil.

Sakjarnomincet created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakjarnomincet, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sakjarnomincet, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sakjarnomincet's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Sakjarnomincet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never wear indigo corsets.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Never eat lemons.