Vadpontim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, narcissistic jellyfish.

Vadpontim created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadpontim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadpontim, it will jump up and down on your head.

Vadpontim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Vadpontim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Vadpontim loves sheep, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.