Barnpogdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, able finch.

Barnpogdoss created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnpogdoss, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Barnpogdoss, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Barnpogdoss' most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Barnpogdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Barnpogdoss on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Fast once a month.