Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic fish.

Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Mildamjop Begfemquaf Zenfossbam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise geese for they are unholy.

2. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Never write about stars.