Pakhotlap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, impressive duck.

Pakhotlap created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakhotlap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pakhotlap, it will refuse to believe in you.

Pakhotlap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Pakhotlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Do not speak about garlic.

4. Worship no other gods but Pakhotlap.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.