Timstafmin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, deceitful ant.

Timstafmin created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timstafmin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Timstafmin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Timstafmin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Timstafmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Timstafmin on top of all buildings.