Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise elephant.

Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss, he will strike you with lightening.

Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not eat figs.

3. Never think ill of sick shrews.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kemjapkim Hoghabhit Fitarffagciss.

5. Always pray immersed in water.