Hotcissjan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unfair narwhal.

Hotcissjan created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotcissjan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hotcissjan, it will be very unhappy.

Hotcissjan's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Hotcissjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think ill of sick voles.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.