Yasssatzussmit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless rhinoceros.

Yasssatzussmit created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yasssatzussmit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yasssatzussmit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yasssatzussmit's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Yasssatzussmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yasssatzussmit's priests.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never wear gray jumpers.

5. Yasssatzussmit loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.