Zogmilrut is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, benevolent giraffe.

Zogmilrut created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogmilrut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zogmilrut, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zogmilrut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zogmilrut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise goats for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.