Zogcanlatwig is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair salamander.

Zogcanlatwig created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogcanlatwig, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogcanlatwig, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Zogcanlatwig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zogcanlatwig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Worship no other gods but Zogcanlatwig.