Dabnabpig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring scorpion.

Dabnabpig created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Dabnabpig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dabnabpig, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dabnabpig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dabnabpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

3. Put Dabnabpig first in all things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Hide if nine moths approach from the north.