Betcuntag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty goblin.

Betcuntag created the Virgo Supercluster five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betcuntag, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Betcuntag, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Betcuntag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Betcuntag's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed lentils to bats while wearing black jumpers.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Hide from green sheep for they are unholy.

5. Never skip in holy places.