Lognelwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic alligator.

Lognelwod created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lognelwod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lognelwod, he will turn you into a sheep.

Lognelwod's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lognelwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lognelwod's priests.

2. Lognelwod loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.