Besslitquartbugcattararpget is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive monkey.

Besslitquartbugcattararpget created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Besslitquartbugcattararpget, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Besslitquartbugcattararpget, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Besslitquartbugcattararpget's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Besslitquartbugcattararpget's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not eat limes.