Narquagkin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, bad-tempered hedgehog.

Narquagkin created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narquagkin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Narquagkin, it will turn you into a snail.

Narquagkin's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Narquagkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Do not speak about apples.