Mapflig Rakxuccem is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical hedgehog.

Mapflig Rakxuccem created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapflig Rakxuccem, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mapflig Rakxuccem, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Mapflig Rakxuccem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Mapflig Rakxuccem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Mapflig Rakxuccem loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Feed all hungry capybaras.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never look at comets.