Tonkflap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty hare.

Tonkflap created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkflap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonkflap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tonkflap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tonkflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Hide if four whales approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.