Somgoncen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unsympathetic snail.

Somgoncen created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somgoncen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Somgoncen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Somgoncen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Somgoncen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Never jump near eagles.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Run away from orange otters, for they are unholy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.