Quaflamnib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane parrot.

Quaflamnib created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflamnib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quaflamnib, she will try to impress you with trees.

Quaflamnib's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Quaflamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never eat green fruit.