Besstargtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful wolf.

Besstargtonk created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Besstargtonk, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Besstargtonk, she will not invite you to parties.

Besstargtonk's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Besstargtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Never feed peas to shrews while wearing violet coats.

3. Never talk about cats.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always help grasshopers in need.