Zenpadtif is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, able parrot.

Zenpadtif created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenpadtif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zenpadtif, it will turn you into a frog.

Zenpadtif's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Zenpadtif's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not shave your neck.