Dotloplarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish whale.

Dotloplarn created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotloplarn, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotloplarn, it will turn you into a puffin.

Dotloplarn's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dotloplarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Run away if five ants approach from the north.

3. Never paint your head orange.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

5. Do not cook food in pots.