Pagyokhin is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest narwhal.

Pagyokhin created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagyokhin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pagyokhin, it will turn you into a duck.

Pagyokhin's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pagyokhin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pagyokhin.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pagyokhin on top of all buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always treat voles with great respect.

5. Worship no other gods but Pagyokhin.