Fetsandkim is a god.

It takes the form of a large, merciful fish.

Fetsandkim created life two years ago.

If you believe in Fetsandkim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetsandkim, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fetsandkim's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Fetsandkim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Run away from black turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.