Volratmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering mole.

Volratmeg created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Volratmeg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volratmeg, it will remove you from existence.

Volratmeg's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Volratmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.