Gunzimjam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-knowing hamster.

Gunzimjam created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Gunzimjam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gunzimjam, he will ignore you.

Gunzimjam's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gunzimjam's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never think ill of sick ducks.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.