Wanwikmin is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, strong zebra.

Wanwikmin created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanwikmin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wanwikmin, she will refuse to believe in you.

Wanwikmin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wanwikmin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wanwikmin.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Worship no other gods but Wanwikmin.

5. Never write about comets.