Talkapdun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, moody mongoose.

Talkapdun created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talkapdun, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Talkapdun, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Talkapdun's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Talkapdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest indigo.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always look after injured badgers.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.