Sanwonfat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, impressive crow.

Sanwonfat created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanwonfat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sanwonfat, he will turn you into a dog.

Sanwonfat's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sanwonfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sanwonfat.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Sanwonfat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sanwonfat.