Tunlarpquafwan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, deceitful wyrm.

Tunlarpquafwan created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunlarpquafwan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tunlarpquafwan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tunlarpquafwan's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tunlarpquafwan's Holy Commandments

1. Snakes are not to be trusted.

2. Run away from red nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Never eat cherries.