Ditmotnig is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, sage tortoise.

Ditmotnig created an electron four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditmotnig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ditmotnig, it will turn you into a rock.

Ditmotnig's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Ditmotnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not hurt grasshopers.