Hinwatflig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, uncaring capybara.

Hinwatflig created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinwatflig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hinwatflig, he will turn you into a plant.

Hinwatflig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hinwatflig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinwatflig.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.