Nurtrigtun is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful mouse.

Nurtrigtun created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtrigtun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nurtrigtun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nurtrigtun's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nurtrigtun's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sing near tapirs.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.