Taffetbasshad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional squid.

Taffetbasshad created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taffetbasshad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Taffetbasshad, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Taffetbasshad's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Taffetbasshad's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.