Jamcaddub Tigvenbug is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, staggering pigeon.

Jamcaddub Tigvenbug created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Jamcaddub Tigvenbug, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamcaddub Tigvenbug, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jamcaddub Tigvenbug's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jamcaddub Tigvenbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Never sing near bats.

5. Do not kill ants.