Bamfodken is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, omniscient beaver.

Bamfodken created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamfodken, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bamfodken, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bamfodken's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bamfodken's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three ducks approach from the south.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.