Litzan is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest capybara.

Litzan created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litzan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Litzan, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Litzan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Litzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Litzan.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Do not cook food in pots.